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Silly
Let's get this out of the way before anybody asks: no, you can't milk bees.
—Woot.com
—Ali G,Ali G Invents the Ice Cream Glove
[PUNCHES WAR CRIMINAL IN THE GUT]
Those were American soldiers that you killed, for no other reason 'cept you wanted to and you thought you could get away with it. Now keep your mouth shut, or your teeth won't make the rest of this trip.
[TURNS]
Now Professor, tell me about those dinosaurs.
—Coolio, "Pterodactyl" (2005)
Dogs have an extremely low flash point and boiling point.
—Uncyclopedia
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
—Mitch Hedberg
Those goons are after me. I need you and the kids to get in this orange!
—Derrick Comedy, "Mad Hatter"
The plot to take out Hitler and then all of his loyal officers was called Operation Valkyrie, based on the belief that no plan can fail if it has a cool enough name.
—Cracked.com on the July 20 Plot
I'm growin' big, I'm growin' big! My legs are growing independent of my body!
—Bitter Films
Damn, this is wet!
—Captain Obvious on water
Don't be afraid to get some mashed potatoes on that ************.
—MC Hawking
Now this will only hurt once, but damn it's goin' hurt!
—Meatwad
Too easy, baby!
—Darth Vader, A Mile A Minute Star Wars
200 channels, nothing on but cats.
—Jasper, The Simpsons
Sorry, looked at you.
—Crowe, MST3K "The She Creature"
Thin Mint Distraction!
—Paper Wars, Episode 1
Your sock's untied.
—Textfiles
But Master...
Does not the mountain need the air?
Does not the fire need the water?
Does not your scrotum need kicking?
—Beavis
That dog does not get a vote!
—Olde English, "Writers of Lost"
Medoken!
—8-Bit Theater
So, Lone Star, now you see that evil will always triumph because good is dumb.
—Dark Helmet, Space Balls
The TM stands for Time Machine!
—Ken Swizzle's Time Machine (TM)
*****, I'm bout to ball this!
—Warren, Smokin Aces
You miss 100% of the people you don't stab.
—Ask a Ninja
Did I ever tell you about the time Brasky went hunting? Brasky decides he's going to hunt down all four of the Banana Splits. He stalks and kills every one of them with a machete. They all begged for their lives... except Fleegle.
—Hank, SNL
<Tr1driph0n> shouldn't the past tense of **** be shot?
<Tr1driph0n> like, you know, 'i shot my pants'?
—QDB
<DarthSemiAway> 2000 mockingbirds = 2 kilamockingbirds
—QDB
Who are these terrorists, aside from an unexplained coalition of French, Germans and Asians? Why are they trying to destroy Los Angeles? Was it because of X-Men 3?
—Philadelphia review of "Next"
Use words.
—Clam, acting therapist at Camp Lazlo
I am not allowed to create new levels of security clearance.
Claymore mines are not filled with yummy candy, and it is wrong to tell new soldiers that they are.
"Calvin-Ball" is not authorized PT.
—Skippy
Without breath, love is just necrophilia.
—Unknown
Justice prevails! ...evil justice.
—Nativity Scene LARP Battle
Congratulations Canada for allowing the Irish to vote!
—Rick Mercer's "Talking to Americans"
Well, it was about that time that I noticed that girl scout was eight stories tall.
—Thomas, South Park "The Succubus"
Vader: What now, my master?
Emperor: Well, I've been working on this for quite some time.
Vader: .... A boobie?
Emperor: No! It's a battlestation. I call it—The Sphere O' Fear. Or, Planet Death. The Killing Ball? Death Moon. Giant Hurt Ball! The Deathticle...
You have an unusual equipment for success, use it properly.
—a fortune cookie
Joel: What is it?
Rob: I don't know, it's a place that does a thing.
—Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Who's the only one here who knows the illegal ninja moves from the government?
—Napolean Dynamite
Tomatoes are not vegetables, they're berries.
—Scott C., Usenet Frequently Posted Urban Legends
Did you know...
that zebras don't have stripes; every single picture you've seen of them has been Photoshopped?
that life is a sexually transmitted disease with a 100% fatality rate?
that a pixel is a very tiny winged fairy whose body is constantly surrounded with a square field of colour?
that if you laid out all of the nerves in your body end-to-end, you'd die?
that the Matrix had you, and then lost you in the sequel?
—Uncyclopedia
Pack your bags, we're going on a guilt trip!
—S23Wiki
All I know is my steak tastes better when I take my steak tastes better pill.
—Jonathan Coulton, "I Feel Fantastic"
—Woot.com
Actor Alec Baldwin threatens to move to Canada if the Earth explodes.
I ain't never had an idea before. How does you know when you has had one?
—Ali G,Ali G Invents the Ice Cream Glove
[PUNCHES WAR CRIMINAL IN THE GUT]
Those were American soldiers that you killed, for no other reason 'cept you wanted to and you thought you could get away with it. Now keep your mouth shut, or your teeth won't make the rest of this trip.
[TURNS]
Now Professor, tell me about those dinosaurs.
—Coolio, "Pterodactyl" (2005)
Dogs have an extremely low flash point and boiling point.
—Uncyclopedia
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
—Mitch Hedberg
Those goons are after me. I need you and the kids to get in this orange!
—Derrick Comedy, "Mad Hatter"
The plot to take out Hitler and then all of his loyal officers was called Operation Valkyrie, based on the belief that no plan can fail if it has a cool enough name.
—Cracked.com on the July 20 Plot
I'm growin' big, I'm growin' big! My legs are growing independent of my body!
—Bitter Films
Damn, this is wet!
—Captain Obvious on water
Don't be afraid to get some mashed potatoes on that ************.
—MC Hawking
Now this will only hurt once, but damn it's goin' hurt!
—Meatwad
Too easy, baby!
—Darth Vader, A Mile A Minute Star Wars
200 channels, nothing on but cats.
—Jasper, The Simpsons
Sorry, looked at you.
—Crowe, MST3K "The She Creature"
Thin Mint Distraction!
—Paper Wars, Episode 1
Your sock's untied.
—Textfiles
But Master...
Does not the mountain need the air?
Does not the fire need the water?
Does not your scrotum need kicking?
—Beavis
That dog does not get a vote!
—Olde English, "Writers of Lost"
Medoken!
—8-Bit Theater
So, Lone Star, now you see that evil will always triumph because good is dumb.
—Dark Helmet, Space Balls
The TM stands for Time Machine!
—Ken Swizzle's Time Machine (TM)
*****, I'm bout to ball this!
—Warren, Smokin Aces
You miss 100% of the people you don't stab.
—Ask a Ninja
Did I ever tell you about the time Brasky went hunting? Brasky decides he's going to hunt down all four of the Banana Splits. He stalks and kills every one of them with a machete. They all begged for their lives... except Fleegle.
—Hank, SNL
<Tr1driph0n> shouldn't the past tense of **** be shot?
<Tr1driph0n> like, you know, 'i shot my pants'?
—QDB
<DarthSemiAway> 2000 mockingbirds = 2 kilamockingbirds
—QDB
Who are these terrorists, aside from an unexplained coalition of French, Germans and Asians? Why are they trying to destroy Los Angeles? Was it because of X-Men 3?
—Philadelphia review of "Next"
Use words.
—Clam, acting therapist at Camp Lazlo
I am not allowed to create new levels of security clearance.
Claymore mines are not filled with yummy candy, and it is wrong to tell new soldiers that they are.
"Calvin-Ball" is not authorized PT.
—Skippy
Without breath, love is just necrophilia.
—Unknown
Justice prevails! ...evil justice.
—Nativity Scene LARP Battle
Congratulations Canada for allowing the Irish to vote!
—Rick Mercer's "Talking to Americans"
Well, it was about that time that I noticed that girl scout was eight stories tall.
—Thomas, South Park "The Succubus"
Vader: What now, my master?
Emperor: Well, I've been working on this for quite some time.
[Motions at blueprints of the Death Star]
Vader: .... A boobie?
Emperor: No! It's a battlestation. I call it—The Sphere O' Fear. Or, Planet Death. The Killing Ball? Death Moon. Giant Hurt Ball! The Deathticle...
You have an unusual equipment for success, use it properly.
—a fortune cookie
Joel: What is it?
Rob: I don't know, it's a place that does a thing.
—Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Who's the only one here who knows the illegal ninja moves from the government?
—Napolean Dynamite
Tomatoes are not vegetables, they're berries.
—Scott C., Usenet Frequently Posted Urban Legends
Did you know...
that zebras don't have stripes; every single picture you've seen of them has been Photoshopped?
that life is a sexually transmitted disease with a 100% fatality rate?
that a pixel is a very tiny winged fairy whose body is constantly surrounded with a square field of colour?
that if you laid out all of the nerves in your body end-to-end, you'd die?
that the Matrix had you, and then lost you in the sequel?
—Uncyclopedia
Pack your bags, we're going on a guilt trip!
—S23Wiki
All I know is my steak tastes better when I take my steak tastes better pill.
—Jonathan Coulton, "I Feel Fantastic"
mcandre |
Latest page update: made by mcandre
, Nov 4 2009, 3:37 PM EST
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